Vermont
by addieredd
Summary: The house, the family, making jam, being the mayor. That's the dream. But that's exactly what it is - a dream. She wants to let go but she can't. This is the house. This is what it could be like. This is Vermont. Oneshot.


_This house is yours. Ours. I had it built for us._

She was standing there, just looking at the huge, perfect house in front of her. She hadn't been here in a long time. Oak had already started growing on the dark grey brick stone façade, but that just made it somehow more beautiful. The door was made out of glass, framed by some sort of wood, probably hazel or something. It all fitted perfectly into the landscape consisting of small hills and deep green fields of grass, a daisy here and there.

She let her gaze wander up to the big window. She could almost picture a light behind it. Which room would it have been? The master bedroom? A study? She wished she had seen everything the last time she had been here, but the only thing she had seen was the living room with the fireplace. She wondered if the door was unlocked.

She pressed down the door latch, expecting the door to be locked. But, much to her surprise it wasn't. She stepped in. It was cold inside. Cold and dusty. With every step she took the layer of dust was whirled around. How long since someone had set foot in here? Probably a very long time. She walked down the long corridor until she reached the familiar living room. She had to smile, it brought back a lot of memories. Them laying there together, forgetting that he was the President and she was his mistress, just for this one night, their few hours together as almost normal people. But they had never been normal. Not ever.

_You know who I am and you're just this bundle of dirty little secrets._

That was what he'd told her. And he had been right. She was a bundle of dirty little secrets. There were so many things she could never tell anyone. Not even him. Especially not him. That was the thing that broke them. All the lying, all the hiding. No healthy relationship survives that. Hell, no relationship survives that. She ran her fingers over the marble countertops in the kitchen. He had been right, they were beautiful. It all matched the dark wooden style of the house.

She made her way upstairs. It was another long hallway, though it seemed a lot brighter as there was a big window at the end. You could see the backyard form there. She could imagine kids playing outside on the swing set that was set up out there. To her, that detail seemed odd. Yet, it almost broke her heart.

She opened the door to the bedroom adjacent to the window. It was flooded with light and the walls were colored in a decent light yellow. In the back of the room there was a changing table, made out of the same dark wood as the rest of the house. She looked around. She spotted a crib right next to one of the windows and stared at it. There was something craved into the wood. She stepped closer so that she could read it. 'First we had eachother. Then we had you. Now we have everything.' She wiped a tear quickly off her cheek. She looked at the sheets which matched the yellow tone of the room and were covered in little butterflies. It was perfect. A complete nursery already set up with everything a baby could possibly need.

_There are bedrooms for lots of kids._

Her eyes were full of tears when she entered the next room. What she found in there didn't make it any better. It was almost identical to the room next to it, only that it was more a shade of green. Before she could even look at it closer she stormed out of the room and broke down crying in the hallway. She sat there back against the wall, just sobbing uncontrollably. She tried to breathe again. How many of these were there?

When she had calmed down, she opened the door to the next room. It was a study. It reminded her of something. Then she realized that it looked a lot like her office at OPA. She smiled. Everything was in there. All books she loved and needed. The table was massive and the dim light from the window compared with all the dust made it seem like a room directly taken out of a movie. It was perfect.

There were three more rooms on the other side of the hallway. The next one was his study. It wasn't as dark as hers but definitely had a touch that reminded her of him. On the office table was a picture frame, covered in dust. She stepped closer and picked it up. She blew off the dust and stared at the picture of her and him she had taken one time during the campaign. They were both smiling. She put it back and sighed.

Next door was a huge bathroom with the biggest tub and shower she had ever seen. More than enough space for like seven people. It was made out of marble, like the kitchen and it had slightly gold accessories here and there. She could see their toothbrushes standing next to eachother, waiting to be used at the same time every day.

_I'm going to be the mayor and you can make jam._

Then there it was. The biggest room in the house, or so it seemed. The master bedroom. It was a huge king sized bed made out of the same dark wood again, white sheets and way too many pillows. Thinking about it, she realized that it seemed like a horror movie. An empty house, completely furnished. She turned around to take it all in. She spotted a door, which seemed to lead somewhere else than the bathroom. She curiously opened it. It was a closet. A huge closet. He had made sure that all her clothes would fit in here. She opened a few drawers just out of curiosity. There were three of her panties in one of the drawers. He wondered how he'd gotten his hands on them and the she remembered. Those were all panties she had worn during one of their unplanned escapades. She recognized the white one from the hotel room in which they had been recorded while getting it on during a campaign trip. She smiled to herself, letting the memory wash over her.

She was walking down the stairs as she realized the picture frames on the wall. They were all empty. But when she looked closer, they all had a note in them. The first one read, 'wedding day', the next one 'first day in this house', 'first baby sonogram', 'Livvie pregnant in the garden'. She had to chuckle at how precise his imagination of their little gallery was. It continued 'baby's first picture' and 'Olivia making jam' it continued on 'Fitz as a proud soccer dad' until it said 'family picture' in the last one on top of the stairs. She started crying again.

_This was going to be you and me, raising a family and growing old together in this house._

Those moments they had discussed so many times seemed so far away right now. Like they would never happen. He hadn't sold the house yet and she knew that he would never. It was too personal. No one living here would ever understand the meaning of all this. And she knew he didn't want that. He rather have it empty than sold to people unknowing of the true value.

She stepped out into the big garden through the same door she had left the last time. She closed it behind her and stepped onto the lawn. She looked up at the perfect house again. It truly was a dream. A dream they would never get to live. But coming here, made it seem more real again and she had managed to forget everything that was going on in her messed up life, even if just for a second.

_I wanted you to see the dream. _

**A/N: This is my first Scandal fic. I hope you guys like it and LEAVE A REVIEW.**


End file.
